The Wrong Hero Has Been Summoned

The world froze.

Literally froze. The chattering students, the falling cherry blossoms outside the window, even the dust motes in the air – all suspended in perfect stillness.

“Oh wonderful hero,” a melodious voice echoed through the room. “Your world faces a terrible crisis, and you have been chosen to—”

“No,” he said flatly.

A pause. Then a shimmer of golden light coalesced into the form of a beautiful woman in flowing robes. She blinked at him. “I... what?”

“I said no. I'm not interested in whatever quest or destiny you're selling. Pick someone else.”

The goddess's perfect features creased in confusion. “But... but you've been chosen! The prophecy speaks of a warrior with a fierce spirit, one who—”

“Lady, I don't care about your prophecy. I've got enough problems here without adding some fantasy world's issues to the mix. Now un-freeze time and leave me alone.”

“You don't understand,” she pressed. “Our world is being ravaged by the Demon King's armies! Millions will die without—”